Friday, March 9, 2012

Como Siempre Guatemala

I post this from Florida. I slept last night in Guatemala City, but spent the afternoon flying en route to my now (so called) home. I now post from nowhere, having somehow (and long before this afternoon) lost myself somewhere along the way..

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I arrived tonight in Guatemala City on an afternoon bus from Flores. It was about 11pm when we arrived, and I had located my bus line's terminal on the Lonely Planet guide's map. There were several recommended hotels with a few blocks' radius, which was reassuring.. Given that the word on the city - that has about a million and half residents - is that crime is very prevalent, I was wary. One of the highest rates of mugging and murder in Latin America, I had no interest at all in augmenting that statistic.

When we arrived, I was in no mood to screw around. There a gaggle of fellows waiting at the terminal, crowding the bus door, offering taxi and economical hotels in pidgin English and Spanish. Annoyed, I pushed through them, and collected my stowed bag. They followed me, and I had to make it very clear, in a curt and emphatic manner - that I did not need their services.

I pushed through them again, and headed across the street to set my things down on the sidewalk and get orientated. I pulled my guide and trusty compass out and tried to figure out which way to head. The crowd of taxi drivers stand there scrutinizing me. Annoyed, tired, and beginning to feel uneasy, I decided I needed to move, but couldn't figure out which direction. Frustrated, I picked my stuff up, stuffed my guide in my shoulder bag, and began walking in the direction that felt most proper. I hit the intersection, and noticed that there were gaggles of young men loitering the other side of the street, and hip-hop was blaring from somewhere. Becoming ever less comfortable, I heard a guy call out to me "hotel, mister?"

I was like yeah. Time to get inside. He beckoned, and pointed at a doorway opposite, a sign "hotel" above it. Bingo. Probably not one of the ones recommended by Lonely Planet, but I was becoming less choosey by the nano- second.

I walked over, and in. There was a girl at the desk. "Tiene una habitacon?" Si. "Quantas por una noche?" 40 quetzales. That's 5 bucks. "Puedo verlo?" Claro que si. She motions a chubby kid, maybe 15, to take me to the room. He shuffles off down the hall, and opens a door. I follow, and peer in. It's gloomy and a bit dank, but the bed seems clean. Close enough for me. I'm not wandering the streets here any longer looking to get myself mugged. I tell him I'll take it.

I pay, am handed a roll of toilet paper and a small bar of soap for use in the common bathroom. I check it out as I return to my bed. It's nasty. No showering here. Hopefully, no need to use it much at all.. Eight hours sleep, and I'll be on my way by taxi to the airport. My flight is at 1 pm, so I'll have plenty of time for a long brunch..

I get to my room, set my stuff down and get organized. It's danker than I'd noticed before. In fact, it stinks. Sort of like unrefrigerated raw meat before it spoils. Not cool. But I'm prepared. I have a spray bottle of Febreeze with me. A few passes with that, and now it smells like the Marriot.

Pleased with myself, I grab some trash I'd collected in my bag on the bus, and walked across the hall to the bathroom to take a leak..

As I came back, I went over to the common trash barrel - an actual barrel in a closet on the hall with a half door on it - to throw my trash away..

As I approached, I saw a flash of movement, a blur of fur and a long bare pink tail flicking up then away at the top of the barrel about three feet distant.. Startled, I leapt back a foot or two.

The thing dropped off the side of the barrel, and fled scurrying noisily into the darkness behind into the unfathomable reaches of the inner closet.

Holy bleedin' smokes. I had just seen a rat. About the size of a smallish cat.

Inside my freaking hotel.

At first, I was disgusted. WTF? Then, after about thirty seconds, as my shock began to wear off, I had to laugh. This sort of thing is what this gig is all about. You have the cojones to stay at a Guatemalan flophouse? Yep. Hay tiene algunas ratons..

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Is that even good Spanish? I have no idea what I'm saying, anymore.

Ah, whatever. I'm off to bed. Blessings and every grace upon your heads.



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