Relating it all with successively varying degrees of "enraptured" snarkiness. They each loved themselves this story bunches, and every successive show covered it. Rachel Maddow shook herself a cocktail on the air, one with Chartreuse and high end gin in it.. Sounded super yummy.
Dude's got the Rapture down to the hour anyway, it seems. Like that arch biblical chronology and genealogy cruncher Bishop Usher, he's done himself some prophetic calculation.
Heads up. The Lord's coming in glory at 6 p.m. today.
Greenwich Mean Time? Eastern Standard? Dunno. Probably West Coast.. He's from California, just like his friend Jack Chick who drew this, a neat graphic summary of what he prophesies will happen this evening (check your local listings) to the saved:
Could be Mountain time.. Maybe he's gone into the Rocky Mountains, dude's likely out there in Colorado Springs in one of those multi- million buck evangelical retreats they have nestled out by NORAD high command there.
This time zone issue actually matters quite a bit to me, since I plan on making my last confession before they all get taken up if I have the time this Saturday afternoon, just to be sure I face the Tribulation in good conscience.. Rough times demand a clean conscience. That's the best a corrupt papist like me can apparently hope for, I guess. If it's California time I'll be able to assist at mass and even I hope get supper in before all the hullabaloo..
Or maybe I'll just get well and snookered and jam with JDawg all afternoon instead. There'll be last chance mass on Sunday evening even in the midst of the Tribulation, I bet.
Yeah. He wants to do this:
A little raw heart salve to caulk the cracks, you know?
Take our minds off all them tiresome pharisaical tools shooting their gobs off. It gives me heartache and makes me wonder if I'm insane and being mocked by my fellow inmates when "bible believing christians (sic)" start yelping this sort of utter exegetical idiocy.
I generally refrain from baldly citing chapter and verse in my normal discourse, because it lacks subtlety and is so gauche and all, but I've been provoked beyond reason.
Just one verse:
No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father (Matthew 24:36).
Now I'm off to lobotomize myself with a spoon. I intend to enjoy myself the Apocalypse. Cheers.
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This made me laugh out loud... three or four times. I was actually at an evening Mass last night, and at about five minutes to 6, Father joked, "Have you all made a good confession? Apparently, the world's about to end" - at which point a murder of crows directly outside the window started to screech and carry on for several minutes without stopping. The number of people who flinched was quite comical. :)
ReplyDeleteI have an intense and crazy story about last night that I won't be writing about on the blog that I'll get around to telling you one of these days, Nikki. Over coffee or beers sometime.
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