Enjoyed it. B-. 3.5/5 Stars.
I was just re-reading my last review, of Jane Eyre, and I it struck me that Mia Wasikowska is probably in fact very beautiful in the classical sense.. You could cast her in marble and stick her in the Louvre surrounded by dancing fauns on pan pipes and cherubs scrolling ribbons, and she'd fit right in, wouldn't she?
Anyway, last night I went to see Bridesmaids, which is being billed as a Judd Aptow type comedy starring women. It's got 91% on the Tomato Meter, which I have come to more or less trust. If the meter is above 80, the movie will probably at least entertain, and you won't regret seeing it. I watch a lot of movies, and so far only one movie above 80%, Scott Pilgrim vs the World (81% on the Meter) has registered a vigorous dissent from me. I hated that movie, and almost walked out of it, and wish in hindsight that I had.
I don't walk out of many movies, because I do my due diligence before hand, using sites like Rotten Tomatoes, and so usually know what I am getting into. Interestingly, the last film I did walk out of McGruber, (47% on the Meter) also starred the star of this film, Kristen Wiig. That film was brutal, vulgarity atop vulgarity, without any intelligence. I don't mind vulgarisms - scratch that, I enjoy vulgarisms if they strike me as witty, and do not mind them if they are used occasionally and for poetic effect, but incessant vulgarity without any wit, honesty or purpose assaults even my jaded sensibilities. That movie struck me a both stupid and obscene. I left after 20 minutes or so.
Sometimes I take a chance on films that are poorly reviewed because the movie has something that I think worth risking two hours and 10$ on. I'll see There Be Dragons (11% on the Meter) in the theater if I can for example, because the movie is about the Spanish Civil War and St. Jose Maria the founder of Opus Dei.. That is basically the trifecta for me: Spanish Civil War, Opus Dei, and pretty Spanish girls. It is also shares the title of my old blog, incidentally.. All of which is to say that I couldn't miss it if I tried, poor reviews be damned.
As for this film, I went to see it solely because the Tomato Meter is at 90% and I like Aptow'esque humor. As I say, it also stars Wiig, whom I like. Wiig is of course a cast member on SNL, and has been in a couple other films lately like Paul and Whip It that I enjoyed.
Anyway, this film was exactly what I expected.
It takes all the gender stereotypes, and runs with them.
It's got a lot in common with Jane Eyre, in other words. Only now, in a context where birth control and modern medicine (prophylactics, treatments for venereal disease, abortion, etc.) has stripped the sex act of its strum drang and consequences, we have a farce as opposed to a melodrama.
Which is to say we have a douche bag übermensch lawyer (natürlich driving a German sportscar and living in a typically disgusting modernist palace) who is going all friends with benefits with Kristin Wiig's character, only it's pretty clear that the Master of the Universe isn't really Wiig's character's "friend" at all. He expects her to behave like a porn star and prostitute, and be his ever obliging "f**k buddy" (as he calls her) who only comes over to get it on and sate his sexual needs, and then immediately leave.
I at least give Edward Rochester his props for more or less respecting Jane Eyre's person, and not taking advantage of her desperation like the douche bag lawyer does with Wiig in this film. Edward is not a total cad, in other words, and clearly really does love Jane despite his socially inappropriate and dishonest treatment of her.
This is what we've come to, see. Even when Wiig's character meets an honest, kind cop who clearly does like her for herself, she still hops right in bed with him, and then second guesses his motives when he continues to be kind to her. She immediately goes psycho on him, and pushes him away.
Typische, is what I'm saying. Sure to resonate with audiences everywhere, throughout our free world.
I'll just say you can take pot shots at Catholic sexual ethics all you want. Their one shining benefit in worldly terms is that when embraced they keep you from degrading and making an ass out of yourself like this.
Anyway, the film culminates (after many hijinks, much of which either had me hiding my eyes from the screen or laughing out loud.. There were one or two belly laughs in this film, which is why I recommend seeing it) in a marrige. Miraculously enough, after everything that happens, the marriage still comes off.
It is a completely garish, self- indulgent, disgusting and over the top affair, in which all the gross princess bride excesses are displayed.
The vows are exchanged on blocks in the middle of a reflecting pool, and as they both say "I do" a huge neon heart with "They did!" in it illuminates in the background, and fireworks go off.
Then Wilson & Phillips (the actual band) come out and serenade everyone with this:
No kidding. It was so inspiring, man. Cathartic, made me hope for tomorrow again.
Or whatever.
Tempus fugit, memento mori, is all I have to say.
In Austen all the marriages are simple affairs. Everyone shows up within a few months of the engagement in their church clothes, say the vows in front of the church and community - the old school ones, note - then they have a good dinner, and the couple rides off to have a honeymoon.. That's it. No decadent indecent display, no gush of treacly sentimentality, certainly no garters exposed..
The old vows in the Church of England go like this:
Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
Notice how the wife vows to obey, but the husband does not? Bracing stuff, isn't it?
Obedience being such the turn-on and all.
Anyway, I enjoyed this movie. It amused me, but it was pretty much a testament to how far gone we are culturally.
Most everyone says they want the romantic dream, but all too few see that it takes crucifixion of one's own will and desire to achieve it.
So it was foretold. So has come to pass.
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